Julie, Judy and Tx thanks so much for your words of support. It really does help to read them.
Whenever I get those kind of texts from my H it gets me second guessing myself. For the better part of year I HAVE been trying to promote and repair Hs relationship with kids, encouraging them to spend time with him and trying to arrange weekends for him to stay here while I went elsewhere so he could be with kids etc. it was only within last 2 months (when kids discovered OW) that I stopped trying to help connect them ( cause they no longer wanted to see him)
H has said that my feelings and mistrust of him have lead to the wedge between him and kids. So was it wrong of me to tell kids I think this OW has been in picture for years (I have seen many text and emails from her for years) Was it wrong of me to say to kids that their father is still my H and I still love him and am committed to him, our marriage, our family and that this is not okay that he is having an affair?
He has told the kids that he waited for almost a year before "seeing" another person. So because he thinks it is okay to walk out on the marriage and his family this isn't an affair????
Jpeg, you haven't done anything wrong. H lies. The kids, and yours are old enough, appreciate knowing the truth. He could take advantage of them if they weren't aware he's not exactly honorable right now. He will not believe a word you say. He's painted you as the bad guy to justify his actions. Frustrating as it is, you can't change that.
Leave his mess to him. Who knows how long this will last (the fog.) You'll wear yourself out and destroy your PMA if you attempt damage control. Your main job for now is to focus on you. I'm right here in the trenches with you...hoping H wakes up one day.
Jpeg, Ancaire and others have already said everything that could be said. I just wanted to add my support. Your children are old enough that H could make plans directly with them, no need to involve you at all. I am glad you are getting out and having some fun. Hang in there, sister.
Anc, pho, thanks for your support. I have to remind myself I have the support of my family, H family, all our kids, my coworkers, so why does it bother me so much when he sends a text like that?? I always second guess myself. I have not replied to the text (he sent it on Fri) and today he sent a text asking how I am. I have meeting withL on Wed
It's hard watching them do things that are just so selfish and out of character. It's one thing to abandon a wife, but the kids? I guess this proves that there is a psychological component to it because it's just so unnatural to do that to your own children.
I do not think you should address it with him though. Just support and be there for your kids. I know how out raged you must feel but Stay strong and just remember when you feel angry, you would never want to be in their shoes. They are the ones losing out.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Thanks Julie. I just felt so bad for the kids. So I had a second birthday meal for them - steak and ice cream cake ( their favorite) I invited my mom and sister, it made it a little more festive and special. They enjoyed it.
My children are little but understand. One of them said yesterday "when Im big I'm never gonna make a bad choice and leave my baby. I'm gonna take everyone with me". . I told him that daddy loves him and can't live with mommy but that daddy wants to see him a lot. The problem is that husband always neglected kids and when he does get them comes late to pick them up and drops them off early cause he has things to do. I feel bad that my sons have been dealt these cards. My father was always around and now I appreciate him more. In a way i am kind of glad that i probably won't have a big custody battle to contend with (unless he does it to not have to pay child support)
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
H just texted saying how he misses my humour. I AM really funny -although there is no evidence of that on here. Anyway - It almost made me cry to read that. I miss him soooo much. I want to reply and tell him how much I miss him and all the things i miss about him and how much I love him!!! Clearly i am no where near detached:(.
Please tell me why it would not be good to answer his text cause a REALLY want to
