You already know the answer to this.

What you are looking for is validation/justification.

You are being vindictive revengeful, sorry to say this but sounds to me like you don't want your W back, like your purposely pushing her away by being this way.

M35 W33 S14 D12
M14
ILYBNILWY 07/14
BD 7/14
S 5/15

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"