less confused newbie. (6)

[dday]

I'm not sure how persistent the contact is, but it seems to be easier and more enjoyable each time. Yes, Ancaire, I will try to keep focusing on me. I'm going to go talk to a building supply company this Friday and get some ballpark figures together for our "Man Cave". I will have s4 with me, while the other 2 are at school. That should keep me focused somewhat.

As far as sticking to my plan... I'm not even sure what that is now. I was so worried about being just friends, that I guarded myself. I felt so good this weekend when I was with her, I actually made a comment, and then had to correct it because I forgot that we are separated. That felt weird. Plus, I heard W use the word us a couple times. And, since the weekend was nice, it makes me want to ask her to do something together. I would love to go on a date. It will be tough to not ask, but I can do it.

I still haven't heard from her lawyer about a court date. W still hasn't told the boys anything. We are getting along great. She is telling me bye again. And we are doing nice things for each other, small things, but nice.

And then, the other side of me wants to know the outcome, and skip the process. If we are working on us, then great, let's do it! If she still wants to have D, well I can respect it even if I don't agree. But then I can start by buying a truck and start building my own home.

I feel that I am ready for this chapter of my life to be over. Time for a new beginning.