Amel- The person she IS is not the person YOU LOVE. Until she becomes THAT person again, the things you are showing her now are not going to move you towards your goals.
Yes spending some time together for the kids is fine, but what are you hoping comes from this?
I guess it feels like we are bonding? We had no contact when we separated now it feels like we are reconnecting. But she won't come back if she never misses me? So I need to back off and become more unavailable. I guess I felt if she has a great time as a family she would miss it.
It's not about her missing you. It's about her RESPECTING you. There's a MAJOR difference between her thinking of you as a friend and her thinking of you as a husband. Which do you want? What lengths are you willing to go through the be the latter?
Of course I want to be her husband. So me doing things with her while she's with OM is not good? Like as long as she is with him I back off and live my own life. Only do things sometimes with our kids?
Idk? To get along better for our son? She initiates it all and every weekend she stays here. That's why I'm so confused. It's like she is confused and doesn't know what she wants.
I know they had a physical relationship and she likes him. He told her he thought he was falling in love with her. Maybe that scares her. Idk exactly where they stand. DR book says not to bring up the A
So she's in love with someone else, and periodically staying with you at your house. So she gets the adrenaline high of the other relationship while at the same time keeping all of the family time readily accessible.
She gets to have OM meet all of her physical needs while you meet her emotional ones.
Let's play it forward. Why would she ever make a change of neither situation changes?
I hear what you guys are saying. However, the book says in the infidelity chapter that I need to be upbeat and in good spirits when she is here. It also says not to press about the A and find what need the OM is filling and do a better job at it. Confusing...
