So I went to talk to sister in law. She said she will talk to H. Though we don't think H will be talked into doing anything right now, SIL wanted to let him know what she thinks, so she did. (I was no there)
SIL told H that OW will not be welcomed into the family no matter what happens. H told her it's not OW's fault that our marriage had problems, but SIL made it clear that OW knowingly pursuing married man is wrong and she wants to have nothing to do with that. She told him she does not accept H's dealing with marriage problem by going off with someone else either. SIL also told H that H has to tell their parents. Of course H started mumbling all the excuses and he will get to it sometime. SIL told H if he has a problem, identify what it is and think about what he can do, because otherwise, even away from this marriage, even with somebody else, that problem will follow you. H's response was, he is not trying to solve it. H told her the reason he has not told any of his family is because he is not looking for anyone's advise, because he is not trying to solve anything.
I'm not saying our marriage was perfect, but to me, his perception of our troubled marriage (that he has not had feeling left for me for a while) is rewriting a history.
The other day I overheard him talking to OW in the shower. I could not make out much, but did not sound like a fun conversation. H sounded like he was trying to appease her. My first reaction was to tell him to get out of my house if he wants to talk to her, but I decided to let them have their problems and I would be pleasant and just minding my own business. It hurts how disrespectful these two are, but OW must not be feeling happy either him still staying at home, regardless whatever H tells her. So I figured there is no reason for me to show them I feel hurt and threatened.
It is discouraging though to know that H is determined not to work on our M/R...
