Good morning Emmess, I will only have a few more days talking with you as I received a job offer that I will be taking early November so my schedule will change, GOD is good!
Change and opportunity are coming for you as well friend, a new beginning, new life, a bright future, be ready to seize the opportunity GOD gives us.
I really enjoy your posts, they encourage me to learn more about myself and become a better man, a positive man, a confident man.
I too was very confident next to my W, but ever since W found this OM, I tend to feel inferior and weak, never have I felt this way before, this is something I need to also overcome and you will too, we will together, because we HAVE TO!
They are temporary, wait until their true colors come out.
I know my self worth but I doubt it at times but I know I shouldn't. We've come so far, we are GREAT, we are GOOD, we are STRONG. We will overcome.
Thank you Emmess, I will continue to pray for you and your family!
ILYNOT, my brother. I am so happy to hear about your good fortunes. God is indeed good.
From your mouth to the Universe (Our God). I am preparing myself to receive all the good fortune coming my way. The new amazing life to come.
Yes I dislike the feeling of lack of self-worth and/or confidence. It is like I am comparing myself and doing things at times to make myself feel better than him. I know this is wrong, and I catch myself, but just knowing that those thoughts come in, brings a feeling of shame.
I am reminding myself that I have to believe in our good fortune and the greatness to come, that they are temporarily in their lives.
I wish you the best of luck in the new opportunity my brother!!! You deserve it and much more. Good things coming your way, lets believe in this together.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
God is good. Life is Good. We are living in blessing. The Universe conspires to give you that which you desire and need, be open to it, believe it, seize it. Love yourself, care for yourself, and most importantly forgive yourself and others. We are all trying our best to live a happy life.
Woke up this morning feeling positive but also feeling a bit sad. I miss my wife, being with her and my boys. Sitting on the couch, enjoying each other's company. Listening to their days, what excites them, what moves them. I miss being told by my wife how much she misses me and loves me; but I also realized that although their was worked to be done in our relationship, I tried my best at the time (that which I knew at the time) to give her the life she wanted, loving her the only way I knew how, by giving her all that she wanted. At this point I was the one posting pictures of us together, as a family, proud of my wife, and my family.
Maybe I messed up because I forgot to take care of myself, which led to resenting my wife, and deeper down resenting myself for forgetting to love myself. I am again realigning myself with the things that used to excite me, the fact that life is great, we are alive, we are living, we can change anything about our lives, for the better. Meeting new people is always exciting, helping others, uplifting others, this all beautiful things; even more beautiful is uplifting and loving yourself.
I have began to take responsibility for my short comings, my flaws, that which contributed to the lack of trust in my relationship; my confrontational nature (the need or desire to proof a point and be right); the need to be validated externally (which leads to seeking approval from other people, mainly women). It isn't easy, the first step is accepting that these are my flaws, then forgiving myself for them, and finally making the changes that I need to make to change. I have desire to be better than I was, to teach my Sons to be better men than I was when it comes to relationships. Overall, I am a good man, a great father, but always told myself this false story that I would never be a good partner to anyone, and as anything that you believe enough, it came to pass. So I am working on changing that story, believing that I can also be a great partner to someone, to love myself enough not to need any outside validation, and to trust, love, uplift, care, and respect my partner.
Sorry if this has gone all over the place, just jotting down my thoughts and sharing them with you all.
God Bless you. Much Love.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Good morning EMMEss, I love your post, remembering the good times is good, acknowledging your flaws is good, learning to forgive is good, GOD IS GOOD!!!
These are all building blocks for a better, brighter YOU! He is cleansing you, if you haven't began to notice.
Keep posting, I love all the positive energy flowing from your posts lately!
It is not over until GOD decides its over, keep praying for your wife, for Jesus to touch her heart. HOPE, FAITH & LOVE.
So this weekend was both good or bad. I have not fully detached from my wife, it seems like what I am actually doing is running away. I could be doing more to GAL and focus on myself. Yet my life at times feels as if I am focusing on her, her R with OM, the fact that she is going to be seeing him, etc.
Friday we got into an argument which ended with both us hurt, she feels that I find some joy in fighting with her, just to get a rise out of her and see some emotions, I really don't, I just let these emotions betray me, the OM is all I seem to focus on, this is really unhealthy. She states that at least she has been honest, and waited until we were separated. She also likes to tell me more than I need to know when we argue, that I am making a big deal when she is clearly not ready for anything serious. Telling me that it is all perception. I do end up giving into my emotions and saying things I shouldn't. I then end up regretting it, feeling guilty, she makes me feel guilty, calling me toxic and me bringing her down. So yesterday, wasn't a good day, felt depressed, but prayed, and try to motivate myself.
Today, I am in a different place. I have begun repeating an affirmation or mantra that I need to be conscious of "Don't ever let anyone make you feel inferior or have you doubting yourself. Always have self-respect and know your self-worth."; She is my wife, but for too long I keep defining myself through my M and R. I have clearly lost the value for myself. I have been comparing myself to OM, feeling as if I am less then him. When I am clearly not better or less than anyone. I need to GAL more, I need to rebuild my self-respect.
Life is short, as much as I love my wife. I don't really know how much I would be continuing to take this route without moving on.
ILYNOT, my brother, I really do appreciate you. Your advice and support have always been something that helps me a lot. Everyone here is great.
Azzork, if you are reading this. I will put together some new goals, and will take your lead on posting updates. I got a friend to be my accountability partner, so will begin to write down more specific goals to better improve myself, and every aspect of my life. So please keep on the lookout for them.
Sandi, if you are reading this, your input is always appreciated. I thank you for it.
God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
* Hitting the gym at least 4 times a week * Eating clean 80% of the time *Mostly clean eating (chicken breasts, lean meats, vegetables, whey Protein, the occasional sweet) * Bring lunch to work at least 3 times a week
Start online part-time business
* Ecommerce Amazon FBA business * Dedicate at least 1 hour to work on business *Identify Products *Write Copy *Post Products *Review Products *Setup store
GAL
* Do at least 2 GAL activities a week for myself *One to meet new people *One to better or learn a new skill * Do at least 1 GAL activities with the boys
Work on my morning ritual
* Dedicate one hour to morning ritual *Meditate *Affirmations *Visualizations *Exercise (Yoga or Calisthenics) *Reading (Inspirational/Motivational) *Journaling
Relationship with Wife
* Work on controlling my emotions *Visualizing Interactions (hope for the best, prepare for the worst) *Counting to 10 before responding *Stop snooping *Work on my presenting a confident and happy person by preparing for any interactions with W.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
wow, so my wife left yesterday on this month's business trip. Every month now, she is traveling. This business trip I have the privileged to know that she will be seeing OM, I really don't want to be thinking about this, and have been trying to keep myself occupied. I know that I shouldn't compare myself, and I am trying to control cursing her out in my mind because I would love to walk away from this without any bitterness.
Last night my little one woke up multiple times throughout the night, so I am a bit tired. I know this probably doesn't help my feelings. I have been keeping up with my morning ritual, and have been practicing affirmations. I refuse to allow to continue to lower my self-respect. Reminding myself of my worth, the value I bring, the type of man that despite my past I am, and have become.
I know there is nothing more to this, than continuing to change my attitude, I have to remind myself that I am valuable, of my good qualities, and to change that negative self-talk that keeps us tied to our old stories and habits.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
* Hitting the gym at least 4 times a week * Eating clean 80% of the time *Mostly clean eating (chicken breasts, lean meats, vegetables, whey Protein, the occasional sweet) * Bring lunch to work at least 3 times a week
Start online part-time business
* Ecommerce Amazon FBA business * Dedicate at least 1 hour to work on business *Identify Products *Write Copy *Post Products *Review Products *Setup store
GAL
* Do at least 2 GAL activities a week for myself *One to meet new people *One to better or learn a new skill * Do at least 1 GAL activities with the boys
Work on my morning ritual
* Dedicate one hour to morning ritual *Meditate *Affirmations *Visualizations *Exercise (Yoga or Calisthenics) *Reading (Inspirational/Motivational) *Journaling
Relationship with Wife
* Work on controlling my emotions *Visualizing Interactions (hope for the best, prepare for the worst) *Counting to 10 before responding *Stop snooping *Work on my presenting a confident and happy person by preparing for any interactions with W.
Looks pretty good. You might try to flesh some out a little more as to exactly what your plans are. But I think you've got a good start.
One question - what's your timeframe. Is this for a week? A month? A year? When do you want these completed?
