Wow, this is like a mirror where I haven't read ... opened my eyes as well. I read your list and thought "Jeez.. did I type this?". Considering similarities, unfortunately, I don't believe revealing any of this to your W will accomplish much. In any event, I think this is great for you and should be the focus on improving what you want / need for yourself. Your "actions" on improvements and your confidence will speak louder than any words. I've started to experience that personally in my S since I placed boundaries, but the journey is still ongoing. She will start to notice as your actions become consistent. One important thing that's taken me some time to grapple with is that although we do DB'ing for ourselves, the outcome of our S may never change. And I'm learning that this is okay. Not necessarily what we want to hear or think, but improving ourselves will also help us feel better about ourselves in the long run.
I am no vet by any means and about 6 months into my S, and I continue to learn like we all will here. Overall I think you are doing great and this introspection is huge into your growth regardless of the outcome of the S.
Just my .02 worth.
Last edited by Cristy; 11/10/1510:40 PM.
M: 33 W: 30 T: 14 M: 9 S2 BD: May/2015 (w moves into spare bedroom one week later) EA / PA (discovered): June/2015 W moves out (living with OM): Sep/2015
