in house seperation (3)

[vise82]

Hello Isit,

There was a EA with a gay guy (lives across the street) in the summer, but that could only go so far as he is gay. The evening wine drinking visit have stopped. She is still texting him but it seems like friendly stuff.

We are S but have no S agreement, the kids don't know, I am sleeping in the MBR, she is in the spare room, her family knows, her boss knows. She has taken off her wedding rings. I have yet to tell my family, or anyone at work and I still have my wedding ring on. We both have separate bank accounts.

I don't know what she is thinking but she is staying at home more, she seems more plugged in to the family. She is getting more comfortable with the situation. She is saying she wants to buy a house on her own. But unless her parents help her she is stuck. So she still doesn't know what she wants.

I too have changed the dynamic. We are starting to live separate lives when the kids are not around. No watching tv together, not in the same rooms. We split up bathrooms to clean. I had to do the separate bank accounts because she maxed out a credit card over the summer, I think to give the kids a good summer before we split up???

As for dinners if she is home she cooks, if she is working late I cook for me and the kids. My W has not gone out just for the sake of going out to party, it was a bachelorette party , she is the maid of honor.

Most of the time now she is at home. She has a three day work conference next weekend, so my trust will have to be she doesn't go girls gone wild. It is out of my control. I know in the past she tells me of all the drinking that gets done. And the stuff that goes hand in hand with it.

That sounds like a long time for your W to be out, two nights in a row. You might have to confront her and make a boundary if she is not home by the time you go to bed you are locking the house and shutting all the light off.

That is not right for her to treat you like that, she has kids that need to be looked after the next day, how can she do that after coming home at 4 am in the morning? She cant, and she cant just expect you to be there to do it.