i know exactly what you mean about the triggers on this site. another reason I am only around when I get an email alert that you were here. i am also up to my eyeballs in work with this custody situation. I am WAY overboard on this - BUT - I only get one shot. She screwed me in the M. sure - i screwed her too from her perspective, but I wanted to at least try to salvage what we had for the sake of what we had and two darling little girls who are sleeping in the next room. wen..... you know what she did.
I have about two weeks before the Judge decides whether she is allowed to just walk with my kids and cut me down to visitation, or we sit and wait for the final hearing, maintaining the satus quo.
Maintaining the status quo would be half way to a win. One it will just deepen the trenches to remain where we are, we will have more time of the current situation having been in place, and at least I will have more time with them. Secondly, I am very confident that further examination by the court will only push thing s my way.
I am anxious as hell. I can't sleep. I can't eat and then when I do I binge on crap. I started smoking again. i haven't meditated for weeks. I'm just screwed. I am paranoid that she is going to make up crap on the day like abuse and stuff and unfortunately I think she does have a chance simply by being the mother. it soesnt matter that she has outright lied in her testimony. It doesn't matter that she was only ever the primary care whilst she was on maternity leave and I did EVERYTHING else. It doesn't matter that since that time I was more their carer than what she was. It doesnt matter that her commitment runs as far as her own immediate happiness. etc, etc, etc. there are even more good reasons for why it is just a really bad idea, some even involving violent relatives of hers potentially around the children. it doesn't matter, absolutely not to her, that my now 5 year old is pleading to go to the local school with her friends. her mum stupidly placates her with of course darling, while I am left to be honest with her that I HOPE this is the case, but..... And then STBX emails me to accuse me of brainwashing d5 that I won't love her if she doesn't go to the school I WANT. For fucks sake idiot, it is as simple as that is where she wants to go. Then she says "if you were man enough you would encourage her to like the other school". I'm pulling my hair out!!!!!
sorry ranting -- just got the email today. stay away if it helps Smoth. I'll be thinking of you anyway. We can work something out if you want to chat elsewhere. i hope you have made some nice plans for the UK at xmas time.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
