I had sent some photos of my wife to someone with out her permission over a period of time. Some were revealing. I did not have an affair. There you have it.
Hi Bobby, I'm glad you shared that. The more you share, the more we understand and can help. So, I have some questions my friend...
Who did you send photos to and what was your motivation for doing this? How many photos and over what period of time? Did you disclose this to your W or did she find out? What has she told you about how she felt about this?
Again, feel free not to answer if you find the Q's intrusive...
Take care my friend
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Photos off and on over a period of a year or so. She asked me not to send them. But in the end I would. I just didn't think it would go as far as her leaving. And I am totally to blame for that. I know that now. I didn't listen to her at the time. It was me not realizing there was consequences to my actions. At least that severe. I put us in that position. I did not respect her wishes.
Thanks Bobby, I can see why she would be very upset about this. Trust underpins every close relationship - you betrayed her trust and didn't respect her wishes.
So, who was this person and what was your motivation for continuing to send pictures - even though you knew she didn't want you to? Also, was she initially happy with pics being sent, but then changed her mind?
I know that answering these Q's may be painful, but I'm just trying to dig a little deeper here my friend....
Last edited by Sotto; 11/02/1510:11 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Bobby, yes there has been some damage done. However, M's can recover from betrayals of trust in really difficult areas like infidelity. I don't agree that there is really no way for you to develop her trust again.
It would help to know a little more about the circumstances of you sending these pics. Were they to another guy? A woman? What need in you did sending the pics fulfil - though you knew your S wasn't happy with them being sent?
Once you are D and with NC, things can feel unsalvageable - but M's do come back from that. Only time will tell whether yours is one of those or not. But your situation certainly isn't hopeless. Your W may come to have regrets about the D - who knows?
What are you doing to improve your skills around personal finances my friend?
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I have been reading the Divorcebusting book and have been working on myself and recognizing what I did wrong in my marriage. Haven't found much on once being divorced. But I guess just continuing to work on myself is the way to go.
I think that's because the state of "being married" and "breing divorced" don't really matter to the process. I don't think anything in the book changes once you are divorced.
