KGirl - letting the past go

[KGirl]

Tdball - hi! No worries, I don't think it's creepy there are a number of people on here I've read cover-to-cover, so to speak. Looking back it's a lot easier to realize I had very low expectations for my M (and low self-esteem to think that was the best I could do and to put up with what I put up with) but it's always hard to see at the time.

I know early on I'd obsess about things like what a certain text message meant, or something he said to me, or that I didn't share my dinner with him and now did I screw up all my chances?? and now I cringe when I see newbies obsessing over those things because in the long run.. it doesn't matter. People say it's a marathon, and all those little things people analyze and overthink are prime examples of being distracted by the two steps in front of you and not having the end of the marathon in mind. One small thing you say or or do or he/she says is not going to be the thing that breaks the camel's back here (and if your S claims it is.. that's just smoke they're blowing to come up with an identifiable reason). I hope people on here can start to see that message earlier than I did.

It's still hard to think about it being a blessing in disguise because being D s*cks, but I do know the guy I'm currently seeing is better in so many ways, and now see that what I deserve in a relationship can and does exist. He listens, we communicate, he isn't dismissive when I'm upset or frustrated but genuinely wants to know what we can do better with each other, he makes the effort. I'm happy now Do I wish I could have skipped over everything with my XH and not had that happen? Sure, but then maybe I wouldn't have been able to appreciate what comes next... who knows.