Please help!

[Flight]

This is a hard decision to make. Some say you drop a bomb on them and expose and it throws some cold water on their face. Others say do not involve family and friends. I don't know if there is a way to know for sure. In my situation, had I done it all at once early on, it might have made a difference, but I did little shocks piecemeal. I think the most damage I did was talking to people. I wasn't trying to make my spouse look bad, I just wanted help and I was a desperate mess those first few months. It all backfired on me. It made my W furious with me and had definitely hurt my chances of R. She saw me as manipulative and trying to "win" and to embarass her.

You also have to know everything that might be brought up against you to justify your spouse's actions. In my case, she could bring up a lot of the past and make me seem like a demon.

I was sort of recovering from most of the fallout from telling people and then her brother talked to her father and her father had had enough. He told her he would disown her if she did not stop her foolishness. My W then insisted on a meeting with her dad and me. Her dad called her on her BS, she rebelled, she blamed me for everything. It was a mess. Her dad said if we couldn't get along, we should just divorce because he could see her anger. Family is not equipped to help you. They may want to, but they aren't professionals who know what a wayward is. Read where Michele talks about this. My own personal opinion from the experts I trust the most and my experience, a wayward will just see you as trying to alienate their family. Depends how far gone and rebellious you spouse is. Are they the type who respond to a wake up call or just entrench themselves more?