Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Hawho, you may be right about the in-laws. I too get confused about whether I am married or not! I mean, what exactly are we?? I do notice I call H S's dad, not my husband. It just started happening on its own.

Job, the upcoming holidays are haunting me! But I am determined to make them my own this year and to spend them with people who love me and enjoy me for who I am. No more forced fake family time. But I also know this will not be easy for me.

Bright, it's so good to hear from you! Our situations are terrible. It is so much easier to think they are broken, they need help, that this is not about us...but often I do wonder, maybe he really was just miserable being with me. Maybe he really is happier now. I would just hope if that is the case, then he would initiate closure on this so we could both go on with our lives.

Yesterday I took S to H. FIL was there. I notice he has been spending almost every weekend with H lately. He gave me big hugs and we were chatting. He asked me what my plans were for the night. Lol, I felt weird saying in front of H that I was going out with friends! But I did, then let H know that S has requested my presence to trick or treat after all. H asked if I wanted him to pick me up on the way. I told him I would just meet them there.

We all met up at S friends house. H and I both wore black shirts with skulls on them and laughed about how we picked out the scariest shirt we had. Funny how we matched.

We had fun trick or treating, S got a ton of candy. H was being very friendly and polite. Offering to carry things for me and making lots of conversation. As always, we had a great connection and it just leaves me so darn confused as to why he is fighting it! My friends, the parents of S friend, asked about my evening plans. I told them and H asked where we were going. I told him and he commented that it sounded fun. Asked if I was dressing up, I said yes.

When we left he wished a fun time.

I went home and changed into my pirate costume. Friends came and picked me up. We went to the local haunted restaurant, they had live music. At midnight, they turned off the lights and shared ghost stories about the place in candlelight. It was fun!! "Sleepover" friend showed up, he is good friends with my friends H, but he behaved. Hopefully no new rumors pop up!

Got up this morning and went to have breakfast with my girlfriend and then to look at her house being built. She showed me the matching model home, it's beautiful. I am so excited for them. H TM that he was heading over soon to drop off S. I let him know I would be home in about 1/2 hour.

He came and asked about my night and laughed about the ghost stories. Said he was headed to grocery store. I thought he would mention Costco but no!! The anticipation is killing me! Lol

I really enjoyed getting out and doing different things. I love having my girlfriend nearby now, she is very active and outgoing. We are planning hikes and walks, we have great trails all around us.

Once again, spending time with H has left me feeling a bit blue and frustrated. I expect it now though and will let it flow out. Having a nice night with S and my fur babies. I have a ton of Halloween stuff to clean up!