Yes lovely, that's why they are patterns! You can reprogram your mind to recognise and to reframe them. This change is really very easy to do, I Internet promise. Once done tends to stay fixed. Mainly because many of the things which are distortions are idiotic if we break them down. You will find if you analyse your thread you have a few 'go to' distortions, have a go at changing those first. You could also try recording yourself! They are so common as failures that there are screeds of great writing on changing them.

The first step is to know what they are, then to adapt your thinking, they are verbal patterns not visual ones. Thus they are changed through language.

Step 1 is knowing and recognising the pattern, identifying it if you will.
Step 2 is adapting your thoughts through words by knowing when you say these things.
Step 3 is replacing with a new valid way of expressing using CBT techniques or NLP techniques.

Many will be just lax thinking styles, some may have their roots in unhealthy beliefs which may need to change

Let me give you an example:

My WH was always saying that I was the most selfish person in the whole wide world ever and everyone agreed with him.

My most effective responses picked off the assumptions, I can see why you might think that and I should be grateful if you would tell me who agrees so I can discuss it. Etc......

So V was more selfish than Hitler? She has never done anything unselfish ever?

I found the most effective tool was reframing, it was certainly the quickest to learn and easiest on the fly, also use specifics when offering opinions or critiques.

As : yesterday evening it was your turn to do the dishes and I believe you forgot, can you take my turn this evening.
Not : you are always a lazy twerp and never do your share of the housework.

I tend now to talk about things that are done if they affect me rather than the nature of the label. Ie you did x or y on saturday at 9 rather than you are a drunken lout.

I am going to suggest you choose a couple of threads, a newbie one or a more mature one and check for these. It's quite illuminating, then because it's not your words, how would you reexpress.

It iis one of the factors in emotional maturity and it's easily remedied.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 11/01/15 08:18 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW