6 months in the storm

[ep0215]

My fear of the divorce is crippling me. I never imagined I would say the words "I am divorced". I am very family oriented and it has been very difficult for me to let that go. To let him go...

Part of the problem is that everything happened so fast. We were only seperated a month and then he filed. It has only been 4 months since he filed and I am almost divorced. I feel like I have had zero time to process this because I have had to work on divorce prep.

With that said the process has stalled. We submitted our financial settlement offers almost two weeks ago and still no reply. Do I let things continue to be stalled or push him to move? I believe limbo has been worse than moving forward with this. I just don't know, my heart is so torn. I don't want to be divorced but I don't want him to have his own timeline either.

I pray he has not been friendly with me lately just to appease his guilt and that it is genuine. I pray that he is missing me and I am truly showing him he is a fool that walked away from an amazing wife. Because I am pretty darn amazing!