Mustardseed Sprouting

[mustardseed]

I let my cool slip on Friday due to frustration. I wasn't off the handle. But again I let too much show. I made a snide comment during the exchange about him not communicating with S at my request so i could sort out all of the kids social arrangements for the weekend.

S immediately stepped in and took the blame--unaware that I had tried communicating with H earlier that day to help me sort it out. H's response--you are responsible for handling arrangements scheduled for your time with them. WHAT?? Since when does coparenting mean we are only supposed to be aware of what is going on with our kids on our days with them? Of course H very smugly said, "Thank you S for defending me" then he sent me a text saying it was inappropriate for me to bring it up in front of the kids. I'm not allowed to bring up coparenting issues in front of the kids now???

I responded by saying it was inappropriate of him to try to absolve himself of his responsibility by letting S take the blame. Then I had a little rant about how he still expects me to kow tow to him and accommodate him--and how he uses the dog as a threat when I don't make things convenient for him.

He then had OW reply to me. I know it was her because of the condescending tone, my misspelled name, and lack of knowledge about our arrangement. About how accommodating he has been--how i am not forthcoming with information, blah, blah, blah.

I replied by saying how this entire situation was forced upon me and the kids and was meant to be temporary. How the schedule itself is the problem because it isn't conducive to any sort of constancy.

I didn't say anything inappropriate, untrue, or provoking. But I let my emotion show. I showed my weakness, while OW presented a cold and calculating response then they dropped off. I could just imagine her saying, "Give me your phone" (I wonder if she released her grip on his balls long enough to type the message). Then ordering him to not respond to me anymore. It is crazy how that interaction completely effected my confidence. My PMA. I think it is her that can make me feel like this. More than him. It's interesting because I observed some interactions between her D and my D last year, and that controlling, manipulative--give me your phone--tell so and so she can't come with us--I don't want your brother sitting with us. D telling me that OWd got mad at her because she sat with other girls at lunch time. All of those nasty, bossy, mean girl tactics--I see where it comes from. I don't understand how H doesn't see it. Three years ago, that is exactly the kind of person he would have hated.

But I guess if it is serving his purpose, he might as well overlook it.