...Why am I tolerating this? Why am I supporting his every need, financing his hobbies, putting a roof over his head? Why am I doing that for someone who is communicating how little I mean to him?...
You are going through a very difficult time SpinningJenny and it must be very tough for you. The simple reason why, is because you still love him and you are going through a phase of reflection that we all do?.
Supporting his hobbies is allowing him to function as normal with no consequences of his negative actions. Is this something you would allow you children to do?
Had you considered starting to cut the finances up into separate accounts and giving him a weekly allowance for stuff that he needs to buy for all of you, nothing more? You may think that it will push him away, he's doing a lot more than that and so you'll need to sit him down and start drawing a path in his mind as to where you see things going. Separate finances now, rented house next, he moves into his own place after that (where he supports himself) and you'll buy something on your own for you and the kids...
Gently, compassionately but firmly show him the future. Expect some explosions, simply be calm, you see no other option and he'll be rattled even more and it may make him think about something other than himself.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
