I want to stay married but I also want to stay living close to my daughters. My current marriage seems to be better now for that last few days, but I have discovered that I have been too clingy. My wife revealed to me that she has often felt smothered by me. Physical affection is obviously much less important to her than it is to me, so I realize now that I need to back off. For instance, she doesn't want massages from me anymore because she knows that I'm always hoping that it will lead to sex. I used to buy her lingerie periodically, but she never wears it for me even though I have asked her many times. I think this issue has led to quite a bit of tension in my current M as well as my last M. Yet she does like to hold my hand when we go out, but when she used the D word a few weeks ago, I knew I had to avoid that too for awhile.

But I can't make her want more sex and I can't make her be more loving and caring to my daughters. It seems to me that I just need to back off physically and try to avoid interactions between her and my ex as far as possible. Whenever issues concerning my ex come up, she gets a little hostile.

My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.