Thanks for the update Jelly - it has been a really long time. I always look for this and hope today's the day.
It seems hard sometimes to write and reflect on all of this.
It will be so until you build this into your story. Once you have a solid story in will be contextual. Again I am going to ask some questions you can say no V, I want to leave this.
I think sometimes that it may be better to try and forget it all and start from an new day one without ever thinking of the past.
Once you have your story with an ending to this part it will finish. think of a book set (like Harry Potter) for instance, this is a book in the series. The book off the current M with WW is ended. A new one starts. So what will you call this book? How is the end of this story? what were the highlights? Think off the next book what will you call it, how will it start? Who is the hero of the book? What plans are there for the story?
Though without reflecting on all of the past, what have we learned, how can we improve, how can we even come close to moving forward without making the same mistakes (including being overly self-judgmental - I guess). But reflecting on things sometimes makes me re-live the pain too.
This is because you have made the sad and difficult parts of your story the dominant part. Turned the lovely peaceful and happy sections into smaller chapters. You can chose to turn this around, make the long chapters the parts which have meaning, the children, holidays happy times. These aren't gone, just written with nostalgic sadness. It doesn't have to be that way, you can rewrite it, turn it into a lim and make yourself the hero of the story. It's perception.
I don't know what to do about any of this, just saying it.
And so you should.
It sure sounds like you have found a path to move forward and your 2016 goal sounds like a driving force.
This can be you too, what is the next book in the series about. You are a young man still. There is no rush to a new R with or without WW. It could be U the hero, growing having adventures, discovering and learning.
Use your breathing room to heal the inner JellyB. I know that is what it is going to take for me too.
Absolutely, so U what is it going to be, intrepid explorer, student, entrepreneur, volunteer, fitness and health guru?
I do worry about essential parts of myself being permanently damaged by these circumstances. the parts that are necessary to trust again and love again.
You haven't got there yet, why worry about your life. You could chose to be a sort of male Miss Haversham (Great Expectations) or you could chose to be Nelson Mandela emerging to lead and discover love?
Hopefully time will heal these wounds without too many scars (I don't see it happening for me - and it really scares me).
Time is healing and on its own is helpful, it isn't the only factor. In order to heal it needs a hand. It needs U with a plan for the next book in the series. When you see it happening it will. Then you will be excited by U future and empowered by it. You need a writes draft for the next story.
It is so good to hear that you are in a peaceful living situation now (is your flat in an area that you wanted to be?)
Have you considered a change too? We are attracted to sitches and stories which give us inspiration. Jellyb is inspirational in the way she has learned her story and how to manage her sweet sadness. You have wounded U, and this need not be the only character in your book. Your hero could be any version you choose, cool dude, studious U, serene man, generous dad, etc.....
----------------------------- U I would like you to consider the next book in the series, and you are not permitted to build it around WW. The book can be short if a new R emerges with WW. The next book is about U.
Deepak Chopra is the master of rewriting your story (try his book Spiritual Solutions). I will add resources for you to consider.
