Becoming the Anchor, Part 4

[asitis]

It is time to invest in a digital recorder, and possibly some spy cams. Carry the digital recorder in your pocket (I know that's easy for a man to say), and when he comes over, set it to record and put it in an unobtrusive place in the room you are in.

Have 911 on your cell phone speed dial.

Have a friend network who you can call to come over when H comes around.

It may seem like overkill, but you really need to protect yourself with layers of coverage.

I don't remember whether or not your L has experience with abuse victims, but he/she should.

We know you will still want to help him and think you love him, and you will stumble. You wouldn't believe the number of times most women give their abusive S another chance, or just don't put their foot down by saying (legally and literally) no more! It is hard. But you are an important person to the people who do love you. And, you deserve to be treated with respect and love.

So,insist H leave, call a support person so he knows that he cannot get away with anything without someone knowing. Abusers are fundamentally cowards. Like vampires, they don't like light shined on them. Shine away by drawing on crowd support!

It can get better. Hang in there. You are a strong woman, and I admire the courage and self-compassion you have been showing yourself. You may not see it that way, but I've seen this play out before, and trust me that you are showing some powerful strength and doing what many abused women either take a lot more tries to do, or can't/won't do.