Still on the first chapter

[sandi2]

It sounds as if you are doing well. In fact, better than most, at this stage in their sitch.

Since then, she's been less of her teenage / rebellious self and more respectful and nice around me when we interact. I have also felt stronger and more confident with myself since then. Did this impact her? Should I care as just focus on me not overthinking this? Don't know... but I know I felt much better. I'm still amazed she hasn't reacted negatively to me since then and no spewing from her

I applaude you for standing your ground on the friends subject. Most WW's (including myself) take for granted the LBH would be grateful if she wanted to have him as her friend. So, I think her seeing you stand tall and display self-respect, was attractive, although she probably would not say it. The more a WW disrespect the LBH, the worse her behavior.

I think it probably had some impact, but not negative. She will test you, so beware. Should you care? Why? The more you protect her from the reality her waywardness has caused......the worse things will be for both of you.

It seems the majority of men here are nice-guy types. Do you see yourself as being passive during your M?

As she was watching our dog and cat, told me that dog wasn't doing well at her place and asked to visit our home to take care of our dog twice

Oh no, do not agree to her coming in and out of your home. She is living with the OM. I'd dare say there is another reason behind it, b/c the WW is usually extremely manipulative and selfish with EVERYTHING connected to the LBH.

"When she sent pics of our son I could see OM beside my son to the side and anger and sadness flooded. It got to me for couple days then felt better". See what I mean?

" I just wonder as W has moved on at what point I really move forward. I've given myself timeline Jan 2016 to decide as I focus on myself and time with S2. W seems happy, is a good mom since she is past her rebellious phase, so steady as she goes".

What makes you think she's past her rebellious stage?

The sooner you move forward, the better. Obviously, you are still emotionally attached, so you may need to come up with a method of less texting. Your WW is wanting the best of both worlds, and that's why she is texting & sending photos of S2. She is keeping you emotionally invested by any means she knows will work. Crazy, I know. You would wonder why, since she is living with OM. It is that part of the WW that makes you wonder about her sanity. She fired you as her H, but she wants you available to her.......in case she needs a Pan B.

" I feel better with less communication with her, but still think and dream of her often. I know this will pass and at least my downs don't last as long. This is a journey and a tough one at that.". Yes it will pass, but until you completely detach, it will continue to be tough.

You know how it feels when we lose a loved one in death. We have to mourn. At some point, we have to move forward b/c life goes on. We don't stop loving that person, or missing them. Depending on the individual, we may need to be proactive in getting stronger by avoiding things we know will cause us to stay in a constant state of mourning. Such as, staying at the cemetery every day, keeping their personal items in view all the time, looking through family albums everyday, etc. Yes, we may need to do those things when we first lose them, but eventually, we have to go forward. Sometimes, we have to force ourselves to continue living, and if that means packing their personal things......then we do it in order to get stronger. Then later, having a picture of them setting out, won't crush us as much as it originally did.