Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Hi Job and Hawho, thanks for stopping by.

Well, I was wrong. I talked to S and he has made it very clear he wants me to go trick or treating. He actually cut me off at one point and said, you're going.

So, I promised myself S comes first throughout this mess and I won't let him down. Unfortunately it's not really something H and I can split, I still plan on going out with my friends after.

It's funny, out of the blue, MIL was being very friendly on Thursday, sending me pics of S at his school party. Then yesterday I hear from FIL out of the blue to see how I am doing. It's like they sense I am shutting down or something, or I wonder if they are seeing something in H, or maybe it's just a coincidence! Lol

I am still feeling very emotional these days, but I am going to chalk it up to hormones and ride it out. However, I still am waiting for a chance to talk a bit with H. I thought maybe a good question would be to ask him what next year looks like to him as far as plans and goals. Just to see where his head is at. IDK, again, not sure if this urge to talk is just my hormones at work.

I am reading the Power of Now and it's helping me to focus on now instead of trying to see ahead through the next couple of months. My mind just can't stop spinning about it, but if I am able to catch it and stop, and feel how happy I am at this very moment, I feel better.

I took the leap and for the first time I went back in my posts and read where I was at this time last year. Seems H has not changed much, but I have come a long way for sure. It was hard to read, he was still at home and it was horrible, just feeling that place again reminded me how much better off S and I are with him away from home. Home has become such a happy place for me again, so much that I am becoming a homebody. So, looking forward to getting myself out tonight, it should be good for me.

Happy Halloween!