Hi everyone! Long time no posts. My story is so long and the drama hasn't stopped. I know y'all can relate so that's why I feel I can vent.
My friends and family are a great support system but they really don't know what to say. They feel pain for me and my children but really don't know how to respond when I tell them more stuff. Feel overwhelmed right now.
-LOOONG Story so grab a drink.
1)I'm still on chemotherapy. It's still working - PRaise God!Don't know how many more treatments. They kinda just wanna make sure it's not growing. Feeling ok. Sometimes tired. No other side effects really. :-)
Now the drama:
1) After mediation - xh said he couldn't afford to see the children 1 day every week (Thurs) plus 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends cuz "something's gotta give - I can't afford it." So he gave up his Thursdays. I said - fine. I didn't argue or plea or beg. (per my atty) Boys weren't surprised. Sad but not shocked.
2) Xh lost his job on Oct 16 therefore I also lost health insurance (earlier than expected)to cover my chemo treatments. He's in no hurry to find a job now since he's helping OW with her bar (at a reduced salary he says).
3) I'm still looking for a fulltime job that has benefits asap. Trying to sign up for Obamacare but confused since my oncologists office really can't tell me which plan to pick. I'm overwhelmed with the choices cuz they're SUPER high deductibles & premiums. NEED a FLEXIBLE FULL TIME JOB!!
4) Oct 1, 2014 XH had told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore. OCT 1, 2015 - ENGAGED to OW.
5)Oct 25, 2014 XH left (abandoned) our family. OCT 22, 2015 MARRIED OW!
6) She's pregnant! A GIRL!
7) 4 biological sons with me (his ex-wife), 1 son (now 4 yrs old) with a former mistress. New wife has 3 children with her late husband which makes 9 CHILDREN TOTAL!
8) He had to mention the gender-why? Cuz I have four boys? He would always complain how costly it was to have children (many times in front of the children - then he'd say-"I'm kidding" - but not really). So he didn't want any more children - clearly he didn't want any more with me. :-(
9) He's now attempting to be a doting dad - kinda. He's called one of our sons school to meet with the teachers, he wants to see the boys every week ?, and boys said that he wants to call them every night to ask about their day. (only happened last Sun) They don't even want to talk to him. I had to force them to call him back. (So - First he had no money to see them, but now he has no job but has money & wants to see them regularly)??
10) He said he's gonna go back to court to reduce the child support since he's "not working". ??
11) He also Wants to file joint custody cuz now he's able to spend time with our boys.
12) He got angry when I changed one of our sons sports practice schedule w/o notifying him. He had never been to their practices, so I was just going on our schedule as I had always been. But then after he got engaged to OW, he started showing up to their games on my weekends with OW. Then wanted to know their sports practice schedule (which I emailed in Sept at the beginning of the season & had to send again cuz he "didn't get it"). Still NEVER showed up to any practices & season ended this wk.
13) He's threatening to call the police if I deny him his visits. WHICH I NEVER EVER HAVE!
When he got married last wk he asked if the boys wanted to come to his wedding on his visitation day - Thurs. (the one extra day of the wk he said he couldn't afford to have them). I asked each boy separately if they wanted to go. They all said no. So I told him they didn't want to go. He said "thanks for letting me know."
Then, yesterday (Thurs), I had scheduled their counseling session since he hadn't been visiting them on his designated Thurs. - I didn't see anything wrong with this appt. They hadn't been in a month but with all the recent changes = they really wanted to go.
He said he'd take them this time but I should reschedule from this point forward. Counselor, atty & boys all said not a good idea for him to be there. I told him this & he said that I was "Controlling" again. ?? I was finally able to reschedule the appt then he said =- "now was that so difficult?" UGH!
I cry because my XH is so different. I hold a lot in & I know I shouldn't. I pray for the Lord to guide me & grant me wisdom, discernment, courage and strength. Lord help me to deal with all of this!
I feel so betrayed by all of his family too - ex MIL continues with the gossip mill which she gets only from my xh. They were all my family for 22 yrs and now they hear how great he's doing from his hundreds of FB posts & from my MIL. How "blessed" he is. How "God is so good to them". How "happy" he is.
I ask y'all for continued prayers especially for my children. This weekend is their first overnight stay with him & his new wife & her kids. My boys were dreading it. They don't like her, her kids and really don't like their dad. He's not the same.
Anyway, was this entertaining? I'm sorry to dump everything. I tried many times to post here but I was overwhelmed and felt it just is so much that I didn't even know where to begin. But now it's all out there. Needing some wisdom and DIVINE strength.
My prayers continue for each one of you dealing with your ex. It's a rough road. But I am so grateful that y'all are here. Thank you for lending your shoulders. Thank you for listening. And thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.
