Yeah, msd a game in which you don't give your rights away.
I need to keep that front of mind...
Yes, that takes a lot of patience and strength, especially when you are being pushed to the limits.
Court was adjourned again. This time his L is sick. I don't believe it for a second. It is so unfair. It is making me so angry. The stuff I agreed to in August was with the understanding that in September it would be revisited. But now they adjourned 3 times--and it is almost November. And I still don't have my stuff that he agreed to. The kids still have a shitty arrangement with both of us. And H get's to pretend to be surperdad during the week while never having to give up a free weekend. And of course, still expecting everyone to accommodate him when parenting becomes inconvenient for him.
I hate him so much and it makes me so bitter. Trying to arrange the kids pick up, he threatened to withhold the dog if I don't pick them up when he wants me to. I guess the kids are once again interfering with his plans--don't mess with this man's weekend.
I am so frustrated and angry with the system right now.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Regardless of him being a narc or not, you need to treat him as some one who doesn't have your needs in mind nor your fincinal interest at heart.
Treat them as you would a stranger as they have flipped a switch and are a stranger.
That's equally applicable to us all, nilla,me, msd and anyone else reading.
I don't write or read as well as some others but I try to be clear and concise. Somehow xh2 turned me into someone who was not, it was a complaint of his. That I could discuss an issue and not really know how I feel till all angles and some time passed.
GG, at a time when nothing made sense to me, you did. You were clear and precise, and witty and my mainstay.
Love and respect GG so much, you have done so much for me. GG and the kick ass heels in RED
Msd can your L ask for interim relief or some kind of temporary measure? Go for a high figure? More than you would otherwise get, by order not judge hearing? I am afraid I know very little about the US system on that point.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/30/1507:31 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I'm so sorry Msd. I cannot imagine how frustrating that has to be for you. I agree, it is completely unfair and an abuse of th legal system. I would never dream of doing such a thing, and have difficulty understanding people who do. Please know I'm praying for you, and cheering you on from my side of the screen.
It is unfair, mine just packed up and went on holidays for 3months. No problem I will just sit round waiting for you to finish faffing about withholding my artificial Imseminating gear in spring when I needed to get Mares pregnant who take a whole year to give birth. Yeah I love to sit round waiting for you and ow to have a romantic holiday! Sarcasm is free...
One year in horse breeding knocks years off your program it's a slow business. Lost income lost opportunities. Arrrrrrrhhhhhhh screams in frustration.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I let my cool slip on Friday due to frustration. I wasn't off the handle. But again I let too much show. I made a snide comment during the exchange about him not communicating with S at my request so i could sort out all of the kids social arrangements for the weekend.
S immediately stepped in and took the blame--unaware that I had tried communicating with H earlier that day to help me sort it out. H's response--you are responsible for handling arrangements scheduled for your time with them. WHAT?? Since when does coparenting mean we are only supposed to be aware of what is going on with our kids on our days with them? Of course H very smugly said, "Thank you S for defending me" then he sent me a text saying it was inappropriate for me to bring it up in front of the kids. I'm not allowed to bring up coparenting issues in front of the kids now???
I responded by saying it was inappropriate of him to try to absolve himself of his responsibility by letting S take the blame. Then I had a little rant about how he still expects me to kow tow to him and accommodate him--and how he uses the dog as a threat when I don't make things convenient for him.
He then had OW reply to me. I know it was her because of the condescending tone, my misspelled name, and lack of knowledge about our arrangement. About how accommodating he has been--how i am not forthcoming with information, blah, blah, blah.
I replied by saying how this entire situation was forced upon me and the kids and was meant to be temporary. How the schedule itself is the problem because it isn't conducive to any sort of constancy.
I didn't say anything inappropriate, untrue, or provoking. But I let my emotion show. I showed my weakness, while OW presented a cold and calculating response then they dropped off. I could just imagine her saying, "Give me your phone" (I wonder if she released her grip on his balls long enough to type the message). Then ordering him to not respond to me anymore. It is crazy how that interaction completely effected my confidence. My PMA. I think it is her that can make me feel like this. More than him. It's interesting because I observed some interactions between her D and my D last year, and that controlling, manipulative--give me your phone--tell so and so she can't come with us--I don't want your brother sitting with us. D telling me that OWd got mad at her because she sat with other girls at lunch time. All of those nasty, bossy, mean girl tactics--I see where it comes from. I don't understand how H doesn't see it. Three years ago, that is exactly the kind of person he would have hated.
But I guess if it is serving his purpose, he might as well overlook it.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Msd can your L ask for interim relief or some kind of temporary measure? Go for a high figure? More than you would otherwise get, by order not judge hearing? I am afraid I know very little about the US system on that point.
V
After a lot of trying to negotiate with a L and H who are not forthcoming at all we were forced to file a motion for interim relief, the Friday before the court date (which was adjourned) there was a preliminary phone conference and the judge told his lawyer that he needed to start giving me money. It was a low figure that he claimed he can afford, and I got half of it. I asked my lawyer to see if I can get more before the next court date.
They were supposed to write up a proposal for support, but my L has been requesting it since August. Still nothing on their end except continued empty promises that his L will get around to it. I have a feeling he hasn't paid her, and easily blew through the retainer. It was very low--which leads me to believe this L has connections to him in some way and gave him a deal. H is always looking and expecting a hand out through his "connections". And then gets pissed when the person doing the favor asks for more money. The court fees alone would have zapped out the balance--and she isn't local, so the commuting costs can't be pretty. So she is out of money. He isn't paying--knowing him his account is probably drained without one bill paid. He is so awful with managing money. And he always finds someone to blame. Now I'm sure I'm sure it is me--but I don't care anymore. I am entitled to support from him and his financial mismanagement is not longer my problem.
Maybe OW can throw him some bucks while he plays the victim card.
Last edited by mustardseed; 11/01/1503:47 PM.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
