PP's WAW Adventure Continues - (8)

[PigPen]

Woke up a bit depressed after dreaming of my W so I'm going to try to hold that view in my head today.

Do you think guilt adds to the depression? I feel guilty if I dream of my H. Like I am supposed to KNOW in my sleep that this is a subject that is off limits. Or, if I dream of him, I have not really detached. So I wake up and not only do I have no H, I feel guilt for dreaming of one. And it makes me sad.

You cant really control your dreams. If you are feeling disappointed in yourself for plopping her in your nighttime wanderings, slap yourself in the back of your head, and grin, because she is totally allowed there from now on.

I find a feel much worse about myself if I start dreaming of other men, (except for you of course )so I dont get so bent out of shape when he is in my dreams anymore.

Hope there're some breakthroughs in the sitch's today.

I hope these breakthroughs are the sounds of ropes hitting the floor! Drop the R rope people!

That's an interesting thought Mona re: anxiety and guilt. I definitely wake up with anxiety over depression. There's a calming down period that's needed rather than a building up period on the mornings after I've dreamed of her.

I don't beat myself up as much as find it curious as to why she's still in there. Truth be told, my IC is a Jungian analyst so he asks me to ask for guidance through my dreams and I try to pay attention to them. Even the batchit crazy ones!

Had dinner last night with a female friend last night, who let me know that if things are "fully over" with my W that she's ready to "fill the void" as she said. I went from calm, cool, and collected to a fumbling fool in about a millisecond, and then felt like I was having a panic attack and cheating on my W. I told her I wasn't ready yet but appreciated the offer.

I may need to reach out to rd and have him make me a CD set on how to be cool post D. I felt like a 14 year old last night and wonder what effect DB'ing has on our ability to date. My sense is that since we're being honest and in touch with our feelings that we don't start dating earlier than we're ready, or use sex as a panacea.

PP