Thanks guys - I appreciate the feedback. The other thought I had is I could just text SS direct, ask if he fancies coming for the day on X date, and ask him to chat to his Mum & let me know. If I do this, I think she may be less likely to weigh in with a 'don't you want him overnight?' - and if he comes back and suggests an overnighter, I can just let him know I already have plans.
This little episode has made me realise that HXW's 'Xmas issues' have been a bit of a shadow for me in recent years. Last year I was free of them, but all the years before that there was always some 'weirdness' about Xmas. For some reason it seems a hugely stressful time for her, which is a shame. I feel I'm able to compartmentalise more now - her issues about Xmas are hers to own, Xmas schedule for parent time is theirs to own, my ongoing R with SS is mine to own. Thinking like this frees me of the guilt, the urge to 'help' (fix?) and just let things go. It's healthier for me I think.
I've had a nice couple of days. Pottered around yesterday and been at the bookstore today, then to my parents and dropped in on Mum's carer (she's off ATM) with some books to read. Got to about 4pm and I realised I spent the whole day doing charitable work and helping others! That's nice and I'm lucky I get to do a pro-bono day, which I enjoy.
Heard from the L this week. H's L has confirmed these further accounts have been requested. Problem is, my L says that 'new' accounts aren't acceptable. They needed to have been produced already. TBH, for me I think the main issue is that there has been a declaration of them and even if it's an imperfect declaration, it will settle my mind I think.
The L has also given me a financial statement and if all goes to plan it looks as though I'll have a further £1k of legal fees (or so) to come. Just in case it's of any interest, it looks as though my legal bill will be around £3k - to respond to a D filed against me, to proceed with the D uncontested, no children/custody issues and achieving a financial settlement. I will be glad when the legal fees come to an end I can tell you! But I have no complaints about the legal support so that's good.
Happy Friday everyone! xx
Last edited by Sotto; 10/30/1505:01 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
