Re: LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (3)

[Mona52]

Those sound like good boundaries, how are you going to enforce then if she doesn't do what you ask?

Exactly! It almost sounds like you feel you do not have the right to enforce anything because you made a mistake.

I hear you wanting her to forgive you, but you need to step up and do it first.

Forgive yourself.

Now, re-read the last sentence.

The punishment here is not fitting the crime. You know that and it is wonderful that you accept this out of love. But there is a point when it can be counter productive. I have no idea if it has reached that point, or if your submission to her demands is what she needs to feel loved.

But if you are ready to stand up and set boundaries (and you are, because you have just forgiven yourself and you now feel worthy of boundaries)you need to also set up how they will be enforced.

I am useless at enforcing boundaries, so I am no help, but i do know it needs to be done.