I have had some communication with the L regarding the separation agreement W had drafted. It was basically what i though when i heard she found someone to do it for 250.00. Garbage. My L said it could be good or bad that it was so awful because if it was ever needed to be thrown out of court it would be easy. Some of the details were the following: they tried to put in that the spousal support would not be taxable to her and i could not deduct it, LOl federal law states otherwise. She wanted the child support but i still pay the preschool expenses solely. But the big thing was the support numbers. When L ran the support numbers again to add that i would pay for preschool to recalculate we noticed and error. The spousal support never transferred over to that spreadsheet and when it was fixed there was a significant drop in the amount i will have to pay to her!
I am very curious how this is going to go.
I started laying some ground work regarding this last night as she wanted to discuss a schedule for the kids. we did that and at first she wanted to disagree with the schedule i mentioned which was actually something she put together. After her initial disagreement and her trying to figure something else she realized it was the best option.
I have found this to be the case a lot lately. No matter what is being discussed she thinks what i say is the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard and gets immediately defensive. She ends up getting ready to turn into an argument and i just stop. I am not sure if things were always this way or not but i have noticed it recently. If she is not getting her way or someone doesnt agree then it is a huge problem.
So i let her know i expected the agreement back this morning and would send to her and that the other seemed to be a little shaky fro what attorneys have said.
If you read enough here, listen to the vets, and learn as you go... You will discover that the WW/WAW have had this whole thing planned out. They did not just all the sudden jump off the tracks. In their heads they have a clear picture of what the separation, D, custody, spousal support, even the A should look like. By now you've gathered a little that she views you as the minor roadblock between her and this picture/fantasy she has created.... Which represents her complete happiness. So just accept this is how she is, and when reality starts exposing this fantasy and it's not matching up to what she thought it would be she will spew and scream it's not fair.... If that doesn't set you straight maybe she will get nice and tell you she wants an amicable D (amicable meaning you give in to her demands) Just know this is what's going on, hold your ground here and protect yourself as you have been doing
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A few weeks ago i sent W an email regarding some activities to do with the kids for around halloween and if she wanted we could do them all together. she agreed and we have done all but one so far. this is going to an amusement park near us that does a whole halloween themed deal. I mentioned going last weekend but she was too busy moving, i mentioned we could go another date and told her when i was thinking. She has never mentioned another word to me. So i made plans to go. I let her know yesterday and she kind of sounded shocked. I told her she is still more than welcome to go, but i never heard anything else from her so assumed she didnt want to go. She stated that it is not that she doesnt want to go but she has been so busy trying to move, then here is the kicker, in the same breath she said she is going to go out tomorrow night with a friend.
In the future ... Mention you are taking the kids to Scaryville on (whenever) if she would like to go.... Cool.... But do not go out of your way to accommodate and push back your plans .... Let her be wushu washy, if she would rather paint her toenails than spend time with you and the kids at an event that's her deal.... You pursued here... Last weekend you should have just gone with the kids and had a great time showing her you will not wait around for her to clear time in her schedule
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So in my head i am thinking, you have been and are so busy moving that you can not spend time with your kids at an amusement park, but you have the time to go out with friends both of the past two weekends. This is where i said i can not try understanding what she is thinking.
This is just you being hurt talking here....along with trying to minidress... You can not control her On that note, i think it is better that she is not going with us as she did not go last time as well and we had a blast.
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So this is the last few days we will be in the same house. I am expecting her to be out sunday night. I guess at that point i will start going pretty dim with the communication with her except for the logistics of the kids. should be interesting.
Again... This is time for you, to heal and rebuild ... Use it wisely and allow her go in her own journey
