I messed up today and totally proved Sotto is correct.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my MIL passing. I was all gung ho for dropping the rope and detaching. But I still sent him a text today, just letting him know i was sorry today was a bad day and tomorrow will be better.
It does not matter how he replied or what happened from that text. What matters is that I should really have not sent it.
If we were D'ed, or worse, if I had died, he would have gone through the day without me. He did not NEED me to sympathize. It was my need to force a connection.
BTW, he replied very positively to my text so it is all good.
We LBS feel there are certain things that it is OK to break the rules over. Yep, I can rationalize it til the cows come home that I was right in sending that text. His mother died, of course I can show support.
But the fact is, that one text proves I am so far off the mark right now. And I am sabotaging any chance of actual success because I am not focused on what I need to be focused on.
Starting now I am going to do this correctly. If I see him or not, it does not matter. If he contacts kids or not, it does not matter. If I have high heeled black boots on or ratty, tatty sneakers when I bump into him, it does not matter.
This is my official goodbye to my H. No, I am not giving up or giving in. Just the opposite. I am taking the gift of time and pushing him away so he can grow and become happy with himself.
My goal is to enforce no text, no emails and no phone calls with H. My goal is to not rationalize reasons why I HAVE TO connect with him.
Tonight I will drink to goals at 10:00 PM EST. Fell free to raise a glass with me no matter where you are.
Last edited by Mona52; 10/30/1504:00 PM.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
