it sounds like you are doing much better ... to me at least. I think you are really stressing your interactions with her too much. If you are nice to her it is no big deal. If you are genuinely a nice person then why stop? As far as her hair goes, dont think you messed up by not giving a compliment. I can guarantee she will she right through it anyway.

Overall, just continue being nice and polite, but do not go out of your way for any of it. Be a good person. that is what i tell myself. the rest just falls in line. I do think about things still before i do them and say is this a husband situation or just a good person situation and go from there.

M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15