Becoming the Anchor, Part 4

[Mona52]

I know I am gonna get smacked, but I think there are many reasons why he came down and not all of them are sinister. I am not saying she should read anything into it and pin hopes and raise expectations. I am just saying it is hard because it is not black and white, and Ancaire, from your posts I can tell your feelings about everything are far from black and white as well.

What he did was humiliating and horrid, so of course people here will react supportive by helping you get out of your bad situation. We LOVE them for that! and all the legal advice and ways to protect yourself you should just follow blindly. They got you covered legally if you listen.

But maybe let's slow down on any rash M plans. (OK people, grab your 2x4's, just not the face ). He had you sent to jail. On purpose. Because of money. What a jerk move. Does that mean you have to dump him? Seriously, if that is crossing your lines, do it, kick him to the curb. However, if what he did hurt, but you think you can work through it, be honest with your feelings and we can help. Even though we think he should be booted, we don't have to live with the decisions you make now, you do.

To make people hate me even more, I just have to say... I dont think him sending me to jail is a deal breaker for me. If there was a way I could send my H to jail, I think I might be tempted myself.

All I am saying is he was not always like this. It takes one to tango and you can rise above his craziness and look down on it and just shake your head. I feel fairly sure he lost all power to ever make you mental again. You are very positive in taking baby steps toward change.

I cant tell you how many people on this forum (my self included more then I care to admit) cant focus on themselves. You say "Focus on yourself" They say "Yeah, but she is having an A!", so you say "focus on yourself" and they say "With my best friend!" No matter how many times you say it, and how many ways you say it, they keep coming up with reasons why they CANT let go of WAS. You dont fall into that category. You have taken huge steps to focus on yourself.

The man you married is there. It is 100% your choice at this point to work for him or not. If you want to work for him, FOCUS ONLY ON YOURSELF. If you dont want him anymore, then I guess you will just have to FOCUS ONLY ON YOURSELF.