She could use a friend right now. It is the last place you want to be, I know...that place between a lover and a stranger. Listening to so many of the veterans and the discussions from DB Coaches, that is precisely the location that you have to be for this to work.
You are working to rebuild a foundation. That foundation cannot be a physical one like when we were kids starting out with a fresh love and relationship. That is not an option with you and your wife. If you are not going to fill this need of friendship, companionship or confidant then who will?
I hope ya'll don't mind me stepping in here, but this is an excellent piece of advice. It seems that some forget that rebuilding friendship is first and foremost in many cases - after all, if the friendship isn't there, then how can the relationship proceed?
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My wife may not be willing to jump into bed with me right now. For countless reasons - she hates her body, she felt used for sex for years, she should want sex for her and not as a duty to me, she felt controlled into it, because she is mad at me about the whole friend thing, THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF REASONS. We can't make her want us right now.
Zephyr, this may not make sense but this statement of yours just put things into perspective on my end. I have been struggling with this as my W says she isn't there yet. I never really understood how we could go from ML (well, it has been since Valentine's Day) to none. Your statement really helped me see things differently. Thank you.
I also want to bookmark your post because it really seems to hit home for me. Thank you again!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
