in house seperation (3)

[vise82]

Hey Sandi,

She asked me about dinner, My response was to defend myself, Didn't have time because I just got home. I get home first a couple times a week, I don't normally make dinner, If my W is home she will make it. If she is not home, then I make it for me and the kids.

As for the ten years the same.. that is what she said, but its true she took care of the money. But she likes it that way and after having bankruptcy and credit proposals and our credit tanking, then getting a credit card only to have it go into default, and not being able to buy a house, she blames everyone but us or her. I asked to take care of the money and she wouldn't let go of it, she like being able to make the decision not to pay a bill and put that money towards fun stuff. Then this summer was another CC maxed.

I have a separate bank account and she has just opened a separate bank account, and we are using the joint account to pay for the bills.

So now I have my money and I am asking what bills are getting paid and why is that one not getting paid before I am putting my money in the joint account. And I am getting spewed on and she is mad like I am treating her like a thief and not trusting her.

She was saying to me that for ten years she has paid the bills with no problems. But there is the history we are not in a good financial situation because of her choices that she does not see. She says that I just stay out of making money decisions and then when she makes a mistake I can just blame her. Just like the separation, I am making her look like the bad guy and its never my fault.

I tell her I want transparency, I want to see where the money is going, I want to be involved in paying the bills, I want to protect myself. My credit is in the toilet because of her and it frustrating because how can I pay a bill if she has all the control of the money in the past.

Not any more, I at least have control of where my money is going now. I can see it before I put money in the joint account.