Mutatio...I completely understand never wanting to see S again after D due to the pain. Even though it makes little sense, I deeply love my H. Even now, it hurts so much to look at him, talk to him, be anywhere around him. I told him when all this was over, I plan to be forever invisible to him. I just can't deal with it...maybe, I can, but the truth is, I don't want to. I want to somehow save him from his present course and have him love me again. I would give anything for that to happen...
I used to live in Colorado in the mountains. I loved it! One of the most beautiful places on this continent, but not without inconveniences. You often get snowed in for days. Sounds great, as long as you have no plans...or plenty of groceries.
I like the way you're dreaming. I believe you're making more mental and emotional progress.
