Now that I have picked my jaw up off the floor... Legally, they are giving you great advice. No matter what else you do or dont do, try and follow the legal advice to a T.
I see you were planning on no more makeup and showing depression so H cant see how strong you are. While I 100% agree you should not tell H that you are in a position of strength, and bite out your tongue before you mention the recordings, but...
No one can take away a strong beautiful you. Dont give him that power. You can move froward on building a healthier happier you without hurting your chances at any legal battle.
You were put through a terrible ordeal. Use it as a wake up call to refocus 100% on you. Just think how that night would have gone differently if you did not text him, but instead picked up a book on how to speak french. Then when he came home, you could have swore at him in French, and since I doubt he speaks french, no backslide! If, on 10/18 you would have been focused on you, he would still be in his nightmare and you could be pitying him from afar.
You have proven you CAN do this. Time to begin NOW.
About your children. OMG I cannot imagine how mortifying it was in that moment. But if any of them would have gotten drunk, mad and hit an ex's car, would you have a low opinion of them for years? No, you would shake your head and tell them to not do that. You are still the same mom in their eyes. Now wait and see how their eyes light up when you brush yourself off and become the superwoman you are about to transform into!
And I also want to mention the guards and ... lets call it "the wire incident". Because it looks like you have a difficult time letting that part go. It was more than an uncomfortable embarrassment to you, I think you even said you felt violated and no way to shield yourself.
The wire incident has as much power over you as you allow it to have. I get it totally how horrible that must have been for you. And constantly reliving it is not helping. You need to immediately find SOMETHING to distract your thoughts. Hopefully that something is a way to use your mind to make yourself better, but anything will do. I have not gone a day without some kind of flash card with me since my H left me the first time in 2004. I have flash cards EVERYWHERE. When my mind goes where I do not want it to, I study. It does not matter what I study, I just study. That may not work for you, but you have to immediately find something.
Post as much as you need support. Chin way up to the world and come here as often as you need to for legal and emotional support.
(BTW I dont speak french, but I think jerk in french is jerk, so find a different word for him if you feel like insulting him in french)
(((())))
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
