A new thread for Eye-Tie

[EyeTie]

Hi Eyetie, can I ask - do you hope that you and your WW may reconcile still?

From your post above, a couple of things jumped out at me:

[quote=Sotto]You saying something which caused your WW to not 'stand the sight of' you

She saw that I was happy and joking around. Seeing me happy makes her very upset these days. Especially when she is going through a difficult time. She often will say things like that if I am in a great mood and she isn't.

You texting your W saying 'good I don't want you back.'

For the last 10 months, she has gone to anyone who will listen and claim that I am trying to get her back. A few months ago or so, she finally realized it. Before when she would say "We are never getting back together" I would follow it with "We will see" or "Who knows". Thinking a somewhat positive reaction was the best answer, now I just confirm it and respond with "Good".

These contrast with your shopping trip in a few posts back, which sounded so loving.

The shopping trip was great. It was a fluke though. Kind of like talking about a memory that you don't want to lose. Neither of us really hate one another, she can act like it, but the truth is I don't hate her and I know she doesn't hate me. So it was more out of comfort than anything.

So, my questions are - what do you want? And why are you being so reactive towards your WW??

In a nut shell, what I would want is for us to be a family again. BUT not with her acting the way she does, she has always treated people poorly. She talks down on people. She is immature, she throws temper tantrums and often says horrible things she doesn't mean. BUT I know the real her, the majority of it is just a defense mechanism more than anything.

I do hold out a little hope that one day she will wake up and go "Hmmm" but at the end of the day I am not sure it will ever happen. As the days go forward, she gets more nasty and bitter. Would I ever be opposed to a reconcile? No. Would it be something I would jump into? Nope. Is it what I want right now? Not really. She would have to prove to me that she wants it as badly as I once did.

I hope I don't cause offense - truly I don't mean to...but it strikes me that you could change the dynamic of your sitch with your behaviour if that's what you want to do.

Take care my friend xx

Even now I still take care of her, I meet several of her emotional needs on some level. When she has a bad day, good news, etc I am usually one of the first people she calls up. Although I have been pushing it back a bit and have started to not offer it as much as I once did.

I think I just want to be happy and I feel like I am, I feel like life is going in the direction I want it to. Be it with her or without her.