Than you Sotto and Lou... Maybe part of this is just the fact I don't SEE her working in things, doesn't mean she isn't... Honestly she is a far cry away from where she was this time last year
I do think she needs IC but it's really up to her to seek that out, I think at the moment she has her family and husband back and feels secure ... She did not lose anything in that sense so what is there to fix ... Almost like she expects my outbursts here and there and waits for that to pass over and it's back to the normal, maybe I just need to dig in deeper with the patient shovel, though at times I grow tired
I read a post sandis made for someone else but felt like it was written to me
Originally Posted By: sandi2
[quote] I think what you are wanting to see from her is a little effort. That's what my H needed to see in me.
When I made the decision to end my A, it was me deciding to do the right thing. That's all. I did not have any positive feelings toward my M. I did not feel love for my H. I did not want to work on my M. I, first, had to reach a point of being willing to be willing. I think my H became pretty discouraged b/c he couldn't see the internal work I was having to do. Not only did I have to deal with what I had done, and go through the withdrawals, but I had to forgive him for all that stuff I had resented about him.
I think your W needs a really good therapist to help her deal with past issues. So far, she's still making you out to be the bad guy while she's excusing her own unfaithfulness. With her track record of unforgiveness, it must be terribly discouraging for you to keep marching forward.
I think this is spot on for my sitch at the moment
