Re: LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (3)

[gs9]

Well, the talk was not what I had hoped.
WW started the conversation by saying she believes the D will still go through. That ideally we would have our own homes and maybe one day I would ask her to dinner or something. We would see each other periodically and as issue arose we would see a counselor to address these issues. Then one day maybe there would be a new proposal, rings and ceremony. she said she needs the space and time to heal independently. That she realizes letting me go she runs the risk of me finding someone else but she doesn't believe God is telling her stay in the M.

To summarize
she feels for the last 6 weeks or so (since I've been DBing) she doesn't feel I love her or want to stay in the M. She feels I've been peeing on her like a dog by reclaiming the MBR. I haven't been spending time with the family or kids. Playing poker and hanging out with one of my friends are huge red flags for her.
My assessment.
- she reached out to me to have the conversation.
- she still showing some doubt about the D
- she said "I love you"
- She still will not validate my feelings. When I expressed feelings about our M she became defensive. I pointed out her defensiveness and that she has rarely validated my feelings. She continued to be defensive.
- She is still hurting from my unfaithfulness,
- She is unwilling to forgive and move on
- she is unwilling to admit any wrong doing on her part now or throughout our M
- There were many times during our conversation that I thought "D will be a blessing. I do not want to be M to the way she is today"
- We hugged several times
- She is reaching out to a Christian woman who has been through infidelity for counsel
- This morning she came to me and apologized for a couple things she said last night. I told her thank you. She sat on my lap and I told her she has apologized to me 3 times in the last couple weeks. This is really big for us. She agreed. I told her I really appreciate the apologies.

Where to go from here
- continue light DBing- I had really taken it to extreme with staying away from the house and staying out late. I was doing things to get a reaction out of her instead of doing things that I wanted to do.
-continue maintaining my boundaries
- acknowledge her reaching out, gentleness, and openness but not get too excited about it
- be the man only a fool would leave by putting family first and being w my family is what I want anyway.
- believe none of what she says and only half of what she does so I'll be watching for positive actions and not paying attention to what she says. I'll be watching for her to reach out to me, text, call or in person. Her moving closer to me. watching for her to take action.

any other suggestions, comments or criticism is very welcome