Thanks Kat and kml. I am having a difficult time knowing if I should get more involved with W's fighting with s14.
Here is an example from yesterday. W scheduled a time for the 3 of us to go to school conferences. W made clear she was "busy", and so we would meet at s14's school.
As I was getting ready to leave, W starts sending me several texts. S14 came back to W's place after school, and wouldn't clean his room. W had cleaned his room when om moved in last week. So it only took "5 to 10 minutes" for s14 to clean his room. But he wouldn't do it.
More from W's texts - s14 is speaking so disrespectfully to W. They can't go the school conferences b/c s14 won't clean his room. W wishes we could afford military school for s14 (really?!)
So I went to the school conferences by myself. All of the reports were ranging from good to glowing about s14. He dealt with getting his missing assignments in, he is respectful to his teachers, although he is quiet, he walks a proper line of socializing with his friends, and getting to work when the teacher wants them to work.
So after the conferences I called W to see what was going on. She explained that she was guarding the door out from W's condo, but then s14 was able to sneak past her and was waiting for me in the lobby, to take him back to my place for his 2 days off this week from school.
I have raised my son to be respectful to his elders, and this is important to me. So I asked what s14 said to W that was disrespectful. W said that he is always yelling at her. And s14 said "I don't respect you. You are not someone who should be respected." Ouch!
W also mentioned s14 attacking her by asking what she was doing all day - and W fell for the bait. She explained she spent 4 hours on a photo-shoot. She spent 4 hours taking her father to have a tooth removed. She made dinner. She cleaned the condo. She made 3 extra meals for her dad...
I told W that you don't have to explain yourself to s14. She responded, ya, you are right.
So I picked up s14 and he starts by telling me "Mom is crazy". She is fixated on having s14 clean his room. S14 complained Mom is always yelling at him.
I can't fix W. But I can talk to s14 to try and take the edge off of his anger. No, right now he does not want to live with me. W also took him to a therapist, and s14 would not get out of the car.
So my question is whether or not I should do more than just talk to s14 about his problems with W. Should I try and mediate their constant fighting?
