WAS or what (3)

[roist]

I hadn't planned snooping but came across a message W sent a friends. In it she basically said she is stressed, cries over littlest thing, has financial problems and that I swanned off for a week without any worries and didn't even ring her once. And that it was not unusual for me to not ring. She also said that she is sleeping terrible.

I know not to believe anything but I can see her being right on all counts.

Except I have been hyper stressed about finances and other stuff.But trying to keep a positive demeanor that may come across as carefree. I didn't talk much about finances etc as communication has not been great and I try avoided negative conversation. This feels wrong.

I was guilty of not being a great contacter when away. ESP when my dad was dying.I was annoyed at not being supported and concentrated on my dad. Now I know this was wrong but in following the rules it could be more of the same in my W's eyes.

Sounds to me like depression/mlc. Not that a label changes anything.

Originally one of my DR goals was to improve communication. But dropped that after advice here.

I still believe giving W space is fundamental but maybe I need to tweak some interactions.

I could have written a very similar message with the same truths about W. She didn't ring me either etc. I did ring kids twice at their grandparents though.

Anyway we talked a bit about finances last night. I said that we should work together on stuff like that instead of each stressing on our own. She said that is what we were doing (with this talk). There was no anger or agressivity when she spoke.

This morning she had a headache so I asked if it was because she was stressed.She looked at me and stated calmly that she wasn't stressed. I moved off the subject.

I think it is not a good sign if she does not give out to me for NC. That being said interactions have been OK. Whereas all indications are that she is fed up with her life and me, I felt strangely optimistic yesterday.Could be due to PMA book or just nothing.

Sorry for rambling but feel free to let me know yet thoughts