Thanks for the posts Sunny and Vanillia. My take on the inlaws is they have to support their Daughter. When she introduces her next R person then it gets awkward for the inlaws to have a relationship with me. They live in the UK and as such I don't have any dealings with them save a couple of times a year over the phone
As the M is dead and buried why keep contact with inlaws ( other than polite when needed ) Maybe it's the. Child in me but when EXW finished the M then all ties related to that M should also be finished otherwise you are leaving the door open to more hurt.
The last thing I would want is to hear how great W was in a new R and keeping contact with inlaws only opens the door to hearing stuff that would not be appreciated at the moment at least.
I did speak to FIL a few months back and explained that he has access to the kids at all times and the kids needed him and MIL in their lives I also explained that I would feel awkward in a face to face now that EXW and I are no longer together FIL said he was very sorry how things had turned out and would like to remain in contact and I answered if it's re the kids then absolutely
Also SIL has attempted contact but I answered her text but ignored her request for a chat to catch up. Again my take is M is over so why keep contact with people relating to that M who in time will be involved in EXWs new R
I have no intention of ever not answering inlaws should they need info on kids , etc but moving on means that
We can't change what has happened but we can grow from it. I don't feel growth is helped by maintaining contact that could provide fresh pain
