Photoka, Yes I'm doing well. I need some time to reread, absorb, and try to find some outside help. My eyes are open to some new things. I will respond once i reflect.
Went out with husband and some members of his family with kids today. I had been dreading seeing him, but had to do it because it involved kids. Turned out, it wasn't so bad because spending time with him and his family (who want us back together) makes it hard to vilify them. We all just focused on kids and things went well. I was in a bit of a quiet mood but pleasant enough.
Trying to mentally keep focus away from him and his thoughts and onto my own. I'm realizing that if he comes back, it has to be because he made that choice and nothing I do or say or wear is going to make a difference. Obviously, there are things I can do that will devalue me, but I am trying to get away from that. My challenge is not being ruled by my emotions of the moment and like Zues said, "staying cool".
I don't know if it's depression, or that time of month, or what but I am just caring less and less. The less I see him the less I want to see him. Today I just quite frankly did not care. Maybe I will start to see him as he sees me, and then no one left to fight for marriage.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
