The recording was good! I've sent it to my lawyer for safekeeping. I got him, recorded, saying his friend will drop charges if I agree to D in his favor.
Will see what L has to say tomorrow. This should be a huge help in criminal case, too, since they are clearly manipulating legal system for personal gain.
Keep on recording as much as you need and indeed send it safely to an L. I believe in this. In my own case recordings were essential to my sanity. You may consider an attacking move a non molestation order. Consult an L, a very good L. You were triggered by WH quite deliberately.
This is very unusual behaviour by WH. It is going to feel unreal.
Keep your cards very close to your chest. Do not under any circumstances let WH know you have any recordings.
All that happened was there was an accident whilst you were under serious stress. This isn't criminal in my opinion.
Take extreme care, this is Trauma.
Hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I am so happy that the recording was clear. Brilliant of you. Perhaps it's true that everything happens for a reason. This tragedy was necessary to reveal to you your husbands true nature. How much more time would you have wasted trying to make things work with him? Exposing yourself to illness and harm. Knowing what your up against is a big part of the battle. Now you know. No one was hurt. This was a blessing in disguise. Not only do you know, but you have proof.
Looks like he is starting to dig himself into a hole. If you feel at risk, is there a women's safe house that you can move to?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Truthfully, I wasn't too quick. Vanilla has advised me on several occasions to record the awful things H says to me. I forgot quite a bit, but I was also in huge denial that my beloved H had changed so very much. Tonight I started to worry that the recordings could get him in serious trouble. Talk about feeling conflicted!!! Will I ever stop being concerned about him?
I want my old H back. Something huge is going to have to occur in his life before that can happen. I am resigned to the reality that it is what it is at the moment, but I'm so extremely sad about it.
I like your viewpoint, Julie. I wasn't seeing what was right in front of me until something so unbelievably awful happened that I was forced to face facts, if only to protect myself. This friend of his is one of the worst people I've ever encountered and H is more like him each day. I don't say "one of the worst people" lightly. I truly like most people I meet, and tend to make allowances/excuses for unpleasant persons. I can easily count the number of people I consider awful...and they have to be vile to get that rating. So, my H is well on his way to being contemptibly vile. Lovely.
Wow, that is quite a tale. Did they take mug shots? Did they finger print you? Did they put you behind bars? I am shocked at how low you husband has sunk. His attempt to do this reveals his confidence in this scheme.
Your recording was a game changer. Having the fore thought to make that recording has changed the trajectory of you life. You did very good Ancaire, very good indeed.
I got the full experience. Picked up, handcuffed, sat in the back of the police car on the way to jail, searched, given a uniform with "Inmate" proudly emblazoned on the pant leg, fingerprinted, and mug shot taken (I resisted any urge to smile.) My bail was ridiculously high because the charge is a felony. The only good thing, if you can call it that, is due to poor health, I wasn't crammed in with general population. I got the Taj Mahal of cells in the infirmary: private room with toilet and shower. Some of the unfortunate people in the shared cells had to sleep on the concrete floor.
I will never forget the entire humiliating experience. I'm still in shock it happened at all. My poor children! The older three have figured out their dad has a hand in it, and they are disgusted with him. He was a terrific father, but he is blowing it with them. His campaign against me is starting to backfire. This makes me sad, really. I was always so happy the kids had a great relationship with H.
Ancaire, I know that it must be horrible to see H and the kids drifting apart. Remember though, that is his doing. And his mess to fix. I'm not sure about you, but I have been cd. I have to remind myself to own what is mine and let W fix her own.
I am sure that your L will be able to help you. Your recording being clear is a blessing. Don't let him know yet, you may have to do it again.
Who knows, later on when he hears what he has said, it may trigger him to come back to reality. Not yet though!
Be strong, take care of yourself, keep bettering yourself.
Good luck!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Chin up my dear one. Sending you my very best rainbow strength if you would like some.
This may be a low emotionally, all you can do is accept what is, and keep your finger on the record button. I know it's little consolation, you aren't the only one who has struggled with these tactics but an ex, Mustardseed has suffered too. We need you to stay calm in your interests. When it's all over then you deserve a complete rant!
I am here reading and praying for you as are the lovely folks in the forum.
Your children are old enough to have their own R with dad. Extreme self care now.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/29/1511:12 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Anything he gives you to fill out, put in your folder that you will take to your lawyer. Chances are your lawyer will have her own version of those papers anyway. Don't let him push you to do anything, but also don't let him know you are pushing back. Just take what he gives you. Stick it in a folder and hide it. When he asks you for them just say, "it is being handled". Once you retain your lawyer your response can be, "I will discuss it with my lawyer". He knows he is going to have to pay a portion of your legal fees. He is scared, and that will make him scary. Stay out of his way--and let your lawyer be your soldier.
I know exactly what you are talking about when you mention the look in his eyes. This is the look of a man who knows his power is weakening. It is desperation. Stay out of his way. Document everything--keep a notebook if you can with dated notes of things he says and did. Record every conversation if you can--I was advised to do this, but was careless about it. H was not so careless. And keep your lawyer's number on speed dial.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
