Back on these forums again 2

[Mona52]

Thanks ep for stopping by!
Thanks PP hugs are most welcome

I am bound and determined to hit everyone's threads today. No work (even though I am at the office, lol) no school work, no facebook games.

I have to send one text to H today thanking him for taking D17 out, but I am going to distract myself here so that I do not send that text until much later today. I do not want it to appear like the first thing I do in the a.m. is think about him (even though I do of course).

Yesterday I bought me and the kids tickets to see STAR WARS! December 17th... it is so far away. I am using that to distract me. On the way in, I had my text ready to send to H thanking him. I deleted the text and instead texted my daughter asking if we could please all dress up as princess leia. It was a wonderful distraction. Now I have to plan three outfits (the long white ones, not the bikini Leia outfit) and plan ways to make three different hairstyles look like hers.

Even after the pie last night, I stepped on the scale this morning and more ounces have dropped off. I was going to bring some pie in for lunch, but it felt so good to see more weight loss that I easily put it away. I will have a slice for dinner tonight, and regardless how much is left, I will throw the rest away. My kids will not eat it because I have slices of real tomatoes in it...

I need to refocus and get my daily goals lined up. I have a 3 hour cyber security conference to go to here on campus, I can tighten my goals and hit some threads from there.

I can do this. I got another day out of the way yesterday, only 400ish days to go til my M is all better.

[JksD]

Mona, I love your posts! They are so positive, but not in a "rainbow-candy-cane-ra-ra" kind of way.

Love your counting down. Am counting down with you.

[OhGreat]

You're doing great Mona. I'm really impressed with you.

[Mona52]

OG!! I was really getting worried about you. To me you have a very strong black/white character, and I had a feeling her craziness finally pushed you over the edge and you were done. I am so glad you came by!

Thanks Grlonfr for helping me count down.

I am still going through threads, but I just got a call from my mom. My H just borrowed a bunch of money from her so that he can move out in 3 1/2 days! That means I can move in in 4 days!

It is hard to explain what that means. It is like I can just peel away 50% of the things in my life that I hate. And I did not have to move a mountain for once. It is just happening. And it is happening in 4 days!

But the most funny part of the call from my mom was, I was on the phone with her, and I said "Mom, what if your BF does not ask you to move in? I am moving into your house under the assumption that BF will ask you. What if he does not?"

She paused for maybe 10 seconds (which is a world record for my mom) and then she just laughed and said "That aint happening."

After I got over the shock of my mom using the word aint, it hit me what she said. She is so confident and sure about her future. It was funny to hear.

Then I remembered how unsure I am about anything...I am still good though. The thought did not send me reeling. Yes I am terrified there are no other men who could ever possibly want me. Yes I am hurt I have been rejected, and the pain is unreal. But when you start hitting goals, even the worst thing in your life is not so bad. My pain can be controlled because I will have a beautiful house and I am losing weight.

There is more very good things, but I am scared to type them. You will never believe me. I contacted a few schools today. I am going to get my Ph D in computer science as soon as my master's is complete. My mother is the only other person in my family that graduated high school. They all got GED's. No one has a bachelor's degree. I am about to finish my master's and no one in my family could tell you if a master's is higher than a bachelor's.

My H has an associates degree, but it is for a trade and not academics, which is perfect for him because he is a printer.

I just took the first steps in becoming Dr. Mona. Holy Cow.

I also completed a project for a competition on a research project. I will not know until March if I won and that is bad because all that time I spent working on that is wide open now and I have zero patience.

Those 2 things were done before my phone call to my mom, so it just keeps getting better today.

I woke up sad... missing jerk face.

I stepped on the scale and thought "OMG, I am going to have a body like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality if I keep this up!"

I drove my kids to work and felt very angry at D17 who (in my head) is clearly taking H's side. (This could be because SHE got to go out with him last night.) Logically I know she is not taking sides and I cannot show this anger in any way, so I gave her a super hug and an ILY at the school.

Got to work and all of my code today threw errors. Instead of throwing the keyboard out of the window, I pretended the errors were all mini puzzles and I solved most of them.

Felt close to tears all day, missing my husband, and I took 3 super walks. That will get my weight down more!

Checked status of research project and saw 100% complete. Awesome.

Found 2 schools and contacted them about my new degree. Awesome.

Missed my H. Sent him a quick text thanking him for taking her out. No reply... more rejection.

Got a call from my mom. Immediately asked D17 to invite a friend OVER for diner on Tuesday. This NEVER, EVER happened before. Texted D15 and asked her to invite BF over!

I changed my address at my job and my S11's school. I need to get him a bus schedule. And I changed my address at the girl's school.

Time for the 2x4's... Had a few stray(very short) fantasies (more like passing thoughts) about men in my new home... Felt guilt, and excitement, missed my H...

Now that I actually have grass, I can properly potty train my puppy! this rocks.

So, even though my day is threaded with the painful missing of my H. Once you start piling good stuff on top, there is no way you can wallow. Just on principle alone!

All I can think now (besides missing jerk face) is what can I do next??? I am thinking installing a hot tub!

[ep0215]

Mona - How have I been on here since July and just found your posts??? You make me crack up. My coworkers are shooting glances at me wondering WTH I am laughing at. I miss my jerk face too today. A lot. I have to see him tonight and I keep telling myself, smile, send positive vibes, not nervous vibes or I could punch you in the throat vibes.

Thanks for the smiles

You get to move in 4 days! So excited for you!

[Mona52]

OMG nervous and punch you in the throat vibes are all i know!

Do you ever wonder why your family AND our jerk face's family and friends do not go up to them and slap them? Just a light tap to knock some sense into them...

We cant ask them to or WE are the bad guys, sheesh

[mutatio]

Great news Mona. I hope the transition goes smoothly.

[Ancaire]

Yeah, Mona! You are seriously doing a fabulous job!!! So happy for you. This news is all extremely instructional/fine entertainment for me. I really enjoy reading your posts.

[PigPen]

I think I have a total DB Board crush on you Mona. Great stories.

Please keep writing. And let us know when you publish the book that's most certainly inside of you dying to come out!

Blushing,

PP

[PigPen]

Quick note too, since weight loss is your goal. Walks are great, squats are better. Every time you miss jerk face, do 3 squats. That's it. Just 3. Don't stop the walks either.

Trust me on this one. If you need more weight loss ideas, let me know, it's what I do all day. Have a client that's lost over 80 pounds in the last 14 months and she didn't have to live through a BD to do it.

PP