Thanks, everyone, for chiming in and helping me understand that I'm actually in a good, healthy, and "normal" state of mind. Lord knows I need to be right now. Remember how I told you I didn't like the look in H's eye? Getting out would not have helped. He had his best friend press charges regarding the event 2 weekends ago, and I was arrested yesterday and spent the night in jail.
I was booked for felony criminal mischief, claiming that I intended to destroy his friend's truck. I don't know if that's true or not, since I have so little memory following H's declaration about the number of affairs he has had. I got out a little while ago, in time to hear the blackmail offer to get me out of trouble.
I recorded it this time, just don't know how clear it is since I had the phone in my pocket. I'll give it a listen when H is gone. Basically, his friend offered to drop the charges if I would agree to 7 months of spousal support instead of the 7 years I am allowed by law. I told him I wasn't interested in being blackmailed and would be hiring a criminal defense attorney instead. Their game playing may have results they didn't expect. The DA has flagged the case for review, so even if his friend drops the charges, the DA might not.
If the recording is clear, I've got proof against them for both cases, the divorce and my defense! If not, I'll still take my chances by hiring an attorney. Just need to call all my relatives to borrow money again.
My poor daughter had to bail her mother out of jail today. I cannot believe the harm I'm doing my children from losing my mind one night. My shame is overflowing. My anger towards H grows steadily. How low down can a person be? Have the mother of their children thrown in jail?
I have never been in trouble in my life, and this entire event is beyond humiliating. To have to deal with both this, and a divorce that is ripping my heart out at the same time??? Seeing the pain my kids are in and having no way of helping? H should be ashamed of himself, but that is the one thing I can assure you he is not. He thinks he has me right where he wants me.
I'm going to pretend to be beaten for now. No more talking, arguing, or anything. I'm going to stop wearing makeup and fixing my hair. I am aware of how extremely careful I need to be. H has shown his hand, and I am in danger. What I need is a financial miracle so I can get out of here. Since I don't see that happening, depressed Judy has to return. At least in front of H. I've been showing too much spirit.
This entire situation sickens me. It should never have happened. Nothing I can do but carry on, one day at a time. I'm really frightened, to be honest. Prison? How did I get here???
