Having a very emotional day today. I just want to sit and cry. I am missing my Ex and just want this nightmare to be over. I have spent a lot of time with him this last week and we have been sitting on the couch together. I think it is making me more attatched so I need to back off again for my own sanity. I have been pursuing and sending texts like hope you have a great day sexy. And He did ask me to stop with the sexy ones but nothing else. I know I should not do it and it has only caused me pain as he has not reciprocated it so At least I learned a lesson. I need to back away a little more again. I have been trying to do acts of service for him (cleaning taking out trash ect) but again I think I went overboard pretty much taking care of everything. I also need to back off of that too. I know I cant just completely stop or it will give the impression I was only doing it for results. (filling the love tank) So I think I will set my goal to do one or two nice things a week and stop the pursuing text messages. I even realized myself and talked to my leader and told her that I was still enabling him to have both again. I can not let this happen. I can not allow myself to be second choice all the time. I am better than that. I know I do not want him back if he does not want to come back but It hurts so much. I am just ready for it to be over and be normal again.
