All we can do is to become the best person we can possible be. We will become better from this experience. We have become enlightened in ways we never would have been otherwise. I believe our kindness and compassion is greater now then before BD. Except Vanilla, she walks on water and has Buddha nature.
You are a fine man PigPen and getting better every day. Positive and patient is the name of the path you seek. Be well
Pp, I think that you are spot on with that. And as it is also. My W has told me that she couldn't trust that my changes were real. And I was depressed, and took some of it out on her.
Your metaphor is perfect.
We're on similar timelines dday, the beginning of this year was no fun for either of us and September was less than stellar too.
Depression is brutal, I went through some bouts of it myself that I covered up with substances. Take what you're going through and make it your mission to understand yourself and your reactions to the world you live in.
Come out of your sitch stronger, no matter what the outcome.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
All we can do is to become the best person we can possible be. We will become better from this experience. We have become enlightened in ways we never would have been otherwise. I believe our kindness and compassion is greater now then before BD. Except Vanilla, she walks on water and has Buddha nature.
You are a fine man PigPen and getting better every day. Positive and patient is the name of the path you seek. Be well
Thanks you sir. Enlightenment feels like an understatement Mutatio. I read this quote today and it spoke to me and should resonate with everyone here who's been DB'ing hard.
"If you know me based on who I was a year ago, even four months ago, you don't know me. My growth game is stupid strong. Allow me to reintroduce myself."
Not sure who said it but it sure fits.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Exactly, we are different from one year ago, 4 months ago and sometimes one day ago if we're lucky. I feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning realizing he hasn't missed Christmas. I am so happy to have this opportunity for self improvement, for personal growth.
I must tell you as a dead head/Grateful Dead fan it gives me great joy to have a friend named PigPen. Ron McKernan died in March of 1973, 42 years ago. Your signature says your 39, maybe a little reincarnation action going on here. He died in California, any chance your from California?
Just having a little fun with you PigPen. Can you sing "Turn On Your Love Light".
Had an interesting session with an IC this morning. She recommended "falling in love with the worst case scenario." If the worst case scenario is that I get D'd and never speak to my STXW again, could I find a way to fall in love with that. She said it's more of an exercise in the willingness to cultivate that feeling than just repeating to yourself that this is now the case. An open hearted willingness.
It was a tough one to swallow but sounds a lot like detaching and moving forward than a sociopathic view of my sitch. I see how easily I let myself get thrust back into the fantasy of a life back with my W and how it just spun me out. It's taken all the way to today to become productive again and even this morning think, "Well, my M is over, let's get back to building an amazing future without W."
I also found myself bursting out in tears again during meditations over the last few days so moving that energy through me was important.
Here's to another day of DB'ing.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
"If you know me based on who I was a year ago, even four months ago, you don't know me. My growth game is stupid strong. Allow me to reintroduce myself."
Not sure who said it but it sure fits.
PP
Wow! This is an amazing quote.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I've re read it over and over again Mutatio. Thank you Rd!
It really is the only advice. I realized today that I took all of the focus off of me and put it back on her this past weekend. What was she thinking? Why doesn't she want to get back together? Can't she see how in love we still are? Blah blah blah punch myself in the face.
Now it's back to me, my life, and how exceptionally awesome I'm going to make it.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
