Amel
I wish there was a simple answer, but there is not. every sitaution is different.

If you are bending over backwards for her, stop. Doesnt mean you can not be cordial and still nice, but dont go out of your way for her.

If she is an A then yes tough love in certain areas may be needed. She has replaced you so you can not let her have the best of both worlds.

I hope some of that made sense. It does seem you are looking for a concrete way to act or behave. at this point i am not sure there is. I know there is no exact way to act to win her back. Follow the advice on the book first. The follow the 37 rules and the valiadation thread. great starting points.

M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15