Thanks Job and Pink. I really appreciate the comments and I will deal with it asap. I certainly don't want SS to feel unwanted or let down. I think the boundary issue for me is that I wouldn't want to take overnight responsibility for him. I don't think I ever did that - even when me and H were together and I worry about how much that could grow. So, I'm happy to arrange a day out with him, meet up or whatever, and for he & his Mum to stay over (which they've done before) - but I wouldn't want to take responsibility for him overnight.

I think that then limits things in a way I'm comfortable with. I can go back to his Mum & say that funnily enough, we've been looking at Xmas dates at work (we truly have) & I now know what I'll be working.

Do you think I should just then suggest - say - the 29th Dec & say it would be lovely to spend that day with him? She may come back & say why not have him overnight - in which case I'd need to say that a day visit would be lovely, but I wouldn't want to take responsibility for him overnight. Does that sound okay or could I phrase it better?

Last edited by Sotto; 10/28/15 04:36 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus