Is she the type who has a difficult time forgiving, or is it b/c of this particular issue? You did not have an A nor a ONS. It was sexual misconduct, and it seems she is having her own affairs in reaction to what you've done. I am not saying drunkenness is an excuse. I would have been very upset, if it had been my H. For her to have 2 or 3 affairs out of spite for you kissing a woman's boobs......seems rather exaggerated. But, that's just me. You volunteered to tell her the truth, you were very remorseful, and have worked to gain her trust again.
Some people simply cannot move past the hurt, and need professional (and maybe spiritual) guidance to help them. When I see continued punitive behavior, it causes me to think that person is not ready, or doesn't want to forgive. She wants to hurt you as much as she feels she's been hurt. Until she can find it in her heart to forgive.....what can you do to convince her? I don't really think you could do enough to win her forgiveness. I mean, you could try to be perfect and it wouldn't end her pain. It's something she has to do for herself.....not for you (if that makes sense). It's really sad, b/c she's multiplying her own pain by punishing you.
When my H and I were reconciling, I asked him if he thought he could ever trust me again. His answer: "I have to, b/c I can't live in a M without it". It was for himself, not for me. I understood it and could accept it. However, I made sure I did nothing intentionally to cause him to wonder about me. I made sure I did not act secretly about my computer activity, phone messages, etc. I didn't close doors that would indicate I wanted privacy. I would give accountability, even though he didn't ask for it. Do you see what I'm saying? If you are being the best man you can be, what more can you do?
Sending prayers for you both.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
